I am a foreigner. I don't know India, and I can't relate to the specific difficulties of explaining India to me. Yet, I find the same anguish when talking to Americans about China. Contradictions, context and, ultimately and in the best case, confusion. It doesn't help that China is viewed with increasing hostility. Often these days, I am at war with myself, explaining one part of me to the other.
I notice the phrasing of the title: "explaining India to foreigners." I wonder if a Britisher or an American ever feel the same need to explain themselves to an Indian or a South African or a Chinese. I wonder what their attitudes would be, and which contradictions are observed and which, omitted.
For what it's worth, people urinate in public in the US as well. We drink too much coffee and there are hardly any restrooms.
American in China here. Yes, explaining America to non-Americans is much the same set of feelings. American culture is confusing. Chinese culture is baffling. I've been to India - it is beautiful and wonderful and astounding, but I knew right away that I didn't get what was going on.
Explaining the paradox of India is always hard. For me, everyone's narrative and their version of truth has some part of truth that is their part of truth. It is just too complex to be an Indian truth.
For any one non-Indian, a way to understand it a little better than hearing from others, is to visit for 2-4 weeks and let loose and try intentionally not to stick around in any one particular bubble.
Wishing you and the rest of your group, safe travels, happy learnings and some new insights.
I got recently asked, "Why is there so much violence against women, Is it because of religion?" I didn't know that the reaction I felt had a name. Thank you for introducing me to "Aporia."
I love this country so much that I came back to it and want to help to work through its ugliness - I don’t think we can shy away from the contradiction that our country is. How it contains these multitudes and even today forget foreigners I’m still learning new things about the different parts I didn’t grow up in. Thanks for writing this : might help me write up my own version
One way to fob off a topic is to suggest books to read to understand the complexities of our culture.. I have tried it at times. At best, they will read it someday, at worst it conveys that the question is too complex to be understood through casual conversations.
Coming from the other perspective, I think a lot of travellers never want to say anything bad about a destination (especially online) and are faced with this Instagram impossibility of reality. It's also impossible to understand the full picture in ten days, so we have to resort to either the stereotypes or the little we discern to be true in such a short time.
I was not aware of the Jaipur Literature Festival! I'm currently holed up in Jaipur with a broken foot (physical proof of the terrible drivers stereotype). I'll try and pay it a visit.
It is very hard to comprehend a culture without talking about the good and the bad. We are ourselves often so unaware of our cultures affects on us, then talking to others under the influence of another culture is just a minefield. Hope the foot is getting better!
Every visit to India, I have to unlearn (what I know) less and learn (what I don’t know) more. I really try to keep my responses to questions short, like you write, you want them to love your country but also want them to know the truth. Hari
It's just one of those things you can't put into words, like the feeling of love. Using words for some concepts is simply reductionist. The very act of putting India, or Hinduism or any related concept into words ensures that something is going to be missed out.
Thank you for giving this feeling a word - Aporia! Something I have felt all my life. I often find myself in this exact same situation as you mentioned and it perfectly captured my sentiments as well. I have felt the same thing for even people of Indian origin (NRI/OCI) who come every few years for a few days and they have the exact same questions as any other foreign tourist would. There have also been times when many foreigners who come to India have been given a (flawed) idea of India by their desi friends abroad and then find themselves confused when faced with the realities here.
Completely relate to this. I live abroad and I find myself struggling with this very often. Since the country is complex and people have various lived realities, I am often annoyed by the responses given by my Indian friends to some of these questions and often argue with them about it. Reductive reels made for clickbait online make matters even worse!
This is such a spot-on and totally relatable write-up, you know? You've just nailed the whole trying to put India into words thing. It's like, you start explaining it, and bam! More layers of complexity pop up out of nowhere, it's crazy.
What you said about being torn between showing off India's gorgeousness and admitting to its tough sides, I so get that. It's like walking a tightrope with your heart in your throat, trying to be proud and real at the same time. And don't even get me started on how folks from those fancy "developed" places look at countries like ours—it's like they forget all about history or their own messes.
Your bit on shame and privilege? Oh man, it really hit me where it hurts. That's something a lot of us feel deep down, but we're all just too shy to chat about it. So thanks for laying it out there, it's super helpful. This article has got me thinking hard about my own life, and it's definitely not the last time I'll be chewing on these thoughts.
You essay captures that central ambivalence I feel about my country of birth. I want to be proud of myself and my roots, but the endless and endemic failures of our elites makes that hard.
That’s the part that fills me with rage. Our elites are so incapable of leadership, and this, more than any other explanation, accounts for our poverty and stench.
I am a foreigner. I don't know India, and I can't relate to the specific difficulties of explaining India to me. Yet, I find the same anguish when talking to Americans about China. Contradictions, context and, ultimately and in the best case, confusion. It doesn't help that China is viewed with increasing hostility. Often these days, I am at war with myself, explaining one part of me to the other.
I notice the phrasing of the title: "explaining India to foreigners." I wonder if a Britisher or an American ever feel the same need to explain themselves to an Indian or a South African or a Chinese. I wonder what their attitudes would be, and which contradictions are observed and which, omitted.
For what it's worth, people urinate in public in the US as well. We drink too much coffee and there are hardly any restrooms.
Thank you for this super insightful comment.
American in China here. Yes, explaining America to non-Americans is much the same set of feelings. American culture is confusing. Chinese culture is baffling. I've been to India - it is beautiful and wonderful and astounding, but I knew right away that I didn't get what was going on.
Same as Brazilian, South American, latina
Explaining the paradox of India is always hard. For me, everyone's narrative and their version of truth has some part of truth that is their part of truth. It is just too complex to be an Indian truth.
For any one non-Indian, a way to understand it a little better than hearing from others, is to visit for 2-4 weeks and let loose and try intentionally not to stick around in any one particular bubble.
Wishing you and the rest of your group, safe travels, happy learnings and some new insights.
An excellent essay as always.
I got recently asked, "Why is there so much violence against women, Is it because of religion?" I didn't know that the reaction I felt had a name. Thank you for introducing me to "Aporia."
I love this country so much that I came back to it and want to help to work through its ugliness - I don’t think we can shy away from the contradiction that our country is. How it contains these multitudes and even today forget foreigners I’m still learning new things about the different parts I didn’t grow up in. Thanks for writing this : might help me write up my own version
You have explained every Indians dilemma very succinctly
One way to fob off a topic is to suggest books to read to understand the complexities of our culture.. I have tried it at times. At best, they will read it someday, at worst it conveys that the question is too complex to be understood through casual conversations.
Excellent read. Thank you.
Coming from the other perspective, I think a lot of travellers never want to say anything bad about a destination (especially online) and are faced with this Instagram impossibility of reality. It's also impossible to understand the full picture in ten days, so we have to resort to either the stereotypes or the little we discern to be true in such a short time.
I was not aware of the Jaipur Literature Festival! I'm currently holed up in Jaipur with a broken foot (physical proof of the terrible drivers stereotype). I'll try and pay it a visit.
So sorry about your foot! Would be great to see you at the festival next week if you can make it.
It is very hard to comprehend a culture without talking about the good and the bad. We are ourselves often so unaware of our cultures affects on us, then talking to others under the influence of another culture is just a minefield. Hope the foot is getting better!
I was wondering what it was like - explaining to India to people in China, Japan and Indonesia. Was it different?
It’s super complicated to explain India to China. Indonesia is much easier
thank you
Every visit to India, I have to unlearn (what I know) less and learn (what I don’t know) more. I really try to keep my responses to questions short, like you write, you want them to love your country but also want them to know the truth. Hari
Excellent essay.
Fantastic essay — and entirely relatable!!
Thanks!
It's just one of those things you can't put into words, like the feeling of love. Using words for some concepts is simply reductionist. The very act of putting India, or Hinduism or any related concept into words ensures that something is going to be missed out.
True!
Thank you for giving this feeling a word - Aporia! Something I have felt all my life. I often find myself in this exact same situation as you mentioned and it perfectly captured my sentiments as well. I have felt the same thing for even people of Indian origin (NRI/OCI) who come every few years for a few days and they have the exact same questions as any other foreign tourist would. There have also been times when many foreigners who come to India have been given a (flawed) idea of India by their desi friends abroad and then find themselves confused when faced with the realities here.
Completely relate to this. I live abroad and I find myself struggling with this very often. Since the country is complex and people have various lived realities, I am often annoyed by the responses given by my Indian friends to some of these questions and often argue with them about it. Reductive reels made for clickbait online make matters even worse!
This is such a spot-on and totally relatable write-up, you know? You've just nailed the whole trying to put India into words thing. It's like, you start explaining it, and bam! More layers of complexity pop up out of nowhere, it's crazy.
What you said about being torn between showing off India's gorgeousness and admitting to its tough sides, I so get that. It's like walking a tightrope with your heart in your throat, trying to be proud and real at the same time. And don't even get me started on how folks from those fancy "developed" places look at countries like ours—it's like they forget all about history or their own messes.
Your bit on shame and privilege? Oh man, it really hit me where it hurts. That's something a lot of us feel deep down, but we're all just too shy to chat about it. So thanks for laying it out there, it's super helpful. This article has got me thinking hard about my own life, and it's definitely not the last time I'll be chewing on these thoughts.
So glad the piece resonated with you.
You essay captures that central ambivalence I feel about my country of birth. I want to be proud of myself and my roots, but the endless and endemic failures of our elites makes that hard.
That’s the part that fills me with rage. Our elites are so incapable of leadership, and this, more than any other explanation, accounts for our poverty and stench.