Pallavi - oh how I loved this. You could not have described more perfectly the relationship that Ramu and I enjoyed and thrived on for 62 plus glorious years. And which we shared - warts, fights and threatened partings - with our three girls - who might well have been traumatised at those moments - and there were many - but who, for the most part - have survived and are in marriages which have lasted over three decades! So we must have done something right in never concealing either the differences, the wars and the deep deep loving , caring and friendship that we shared from our kids. Thank you for such a great read - enjoy your special time of celebration
Thanks for this. My parents barely argued in front of us (I think my Mum would have liked to more by my Dad wouldn't have tolerated it). Perhaps unfair to claim direct cause and effect, but it's no coincidence the grown-up me can be irrationally terrified of even small and necessary confrontations...
Too right on the need to "break out of ideological silos and to engage with those whom with we disagree". Journalism, writing, film are great tools / vehicles
Thank you so much Pallavi, for making parenting more humane and parents, normal flawed imperfect humans totally capable of living together. The constant rib pokes when you argue with your hubby in front of children from the supposed elders, the constant comments that children will conceive this as a broken house and will grow up mentally and physiologically wanting...crap has been going around for too long.
Thank you for removing the blinds and happy anniversary. Have many many more
Thanks for this because I always feel so guilty after a heated debate with my husband in front of the children. Many well-meaning adults kept telling us, "The children are listening," and they need to feel stability and that their parents are on one team. I agree with them, but I also agree with you that they need to see that disagreements are normal and that we must learn how to communicate, discuss, compromise, and thrive well. That I am still learning myself.
Raw honesty, Pallavi! I am storing this in my email folder to re-read it and be reassured. I know I will need these beautiful words a lot of times in the future. Thank you for writing this.
Happy Anniversary! Its a great article...its important for kids to know they will encounter conflicts/ differences of opinions...and its perfectly fine to discuss/debate...reconcile ..and still get along well. I think its healthy. I am following your footsteps ..18 years..
One of the wisest moves we should make "(...) learning to “fight” our opponents well - vehemently, but not violently and with at least a soupçon of humour - is an art desperately needed in global public discourse."
Well said, Pallavi, and congratulations to you and Julio on your anniversary!
Beautifully put! As a dear friend put, it is not what we fight about, but how we fight.
So true!
Pallavi - oh how I loved this. You could not have described more perfectly the relationship that Ramu and I enjoyed and thrived on for 62 plus glorious years. And which we shared - warts, fights and threatened partings - with our three girls - who might well have been traumatised at those moments - and there were many - but who, for the most part - have survived and are in marriages which have lasted over three decades! So we must have done something right in never concealing either the differences, the wars and the deep deep loving , caring and friendship that we shared from our kids. Thank you for such a great read - enjoy your special time of celebration
Thanks for this. My parents barely argued in front of us (I think my Mum would have liked to more by my Dad wouldn't have tolerated it). Perhaps unfair to claim direct cause and effect, but it's no coincidence the grown-up me can be irrationally terrified of even small and necessary confrontations...
Too right on the need to "break out of ideological silos and to engage with those whom with we disagree". Journalism, writing, film are great tools / vehicles
Thank you so much Pallavi, for making parenting more humane and parents, normal flawed imperfect humans totally capable of living together. The constant rib pokes when you argue with your hubby in front of children from the supposed elders, the constant comments that children will conceive this as a broken house and will grow up mentally and physiologically wanting...crap has been going around for too long.
Thank you for removing the blinds and happy anniversary. Have many many more
Thank you for the lovely note!
Thanks for this because I always feel so guilty after a heated debate with my husband in front of the children. Many well-meaning adults kept telling us, "The children are listening," and they need to feel stability and that their parents are on one team. I agree with them, but I also agree with you that they need to see that disagreements are normal and that we must learn how to communicate, discuss, compromise, and thrive well. That I am still learning myself.
Raw honesty, Pallavi! I am storing this in my email folder to re-read it and be reassured. I know I will need these beautiful words a lot of times in the future. Thank you for writing this.
Thank YOU for writing in. So glad that it resonated
Happy Anniversary! Its a great article...its important for kids to know they will encounter conflicts/ differences of opinions...and its perfectly fine to discuss/debate...reconcile ..and still get along well. I think its healthy. I am following your footsteps ..18 years..
xoxo
One of the wisest moves we should make "(...) learning to “fight” our opponents well - vehemently, but not violently and with at least a soupçon of humour - is an art desperately needed in global public discourse."
Well said, Pallavi, and congratulations to you and Julio on your anniversary!